we're here to devour each other alive.

mine

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 18:04:45 -0500

mine

stfuconservatives: sevenpoints: iidelirium: captainragtag: hey what if someone invented a...

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 22:00:04 -0500

sevenpoints:

iidelirium:

captainragtag:

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue

BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER

“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT

“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY

<3 everything about this post. When I’m done ranting about politics for the day, I go on to my personal tumblr and join the proud ranks of incoherent nightbloggers.

Jennifer Lawrence for Vanity Fair (Feb 2013).

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 21:59:26 -0500

Jennifer Lawrence for Vanity Fair (Feb 2013).

cosmiccrystals: zipperaward: Hi guys! I wanted to inform you...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:08:00 -0500

cosmiccrystals:

zipperaward:

Hi guys! I wanted to inform you about this great thing that is happening!

These smart fellows have devised a way to create cups, straws, mixers, etc that can detect common date rape drugs. This is an amazing idea and it needs funding! The campaign ends in 35 hours and they are a little short on funding. Please, signal boost this or even give a dollar if you can, it’s a great cause and something that will really change the world!

gogogo!

yes PLEASE

Photo

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:48:09 -0500

jessica-paradise: Lemony Snicket’s short letters for his dead...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:47:43 -0500

jessica-paradise:

Lemony Snicket’s short letters for his dead ex-fiancee written in his books “A Series of Unfortunate Events”

always reblog

lemony snicket you are amazing

albabutter: Dear Darling Anon, I am not an expert of any...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:46:17 -0500

albabutter:

Dear Darling Anon,
I am not an expert of any kind, but I will share with you any kind of wisdom a 21 year old college senior who hasn’t changed out of her scottie dog flannel pajama pants in four days can impart.

First of All, and listen carefully here,
Don’t ever feel weird about your experience or lack there of, and don’t ever, ever feel like you are worthless or undesirable because of your experience or lack there of either.

That being said, I totally and completely understand where you are coming from. I got my first kiss my senior year of highschool, a year when most of my friends were losing their virginity, and here’s an important bit that no one ever tells you: Your first kiss will not be great. People, society, media whatever, tend to put all this emphasis on your first kiss and how special it is. I’m not saying your first kiss is meaningless; your first kiss will be as important as you make it, but rest assured, regardless of it being awful or amazing or with the “right”person or with the “wrong” person, your first kiss is not the defining moment of anything. It does not set the tone for your romantic or sexual life. Your first kiss is just that. The first but not your last.My first kiss was shit. It was with the boy I liked, but neither one of us knew what we were doing, and we didn’t work out. In fact, none of the boys I’ve kissed have ever really “worked out” if you will.

But that’s okay! I still kiss boys I think are cute or who have the good taste to think I’m cute. I used to be paranoid because I have no idea what I’m doing 99% of the time, and what if they noticed? What do I do with my hands? Which way do I tilt my head? How do I breathe?? WHOSE FUCKING TONGUE IS THAT??

The first thing you need to do, in regards to kissing, dating, sex, interacting with boys in general, is to relax. Enjoy whatever it is you’re doing! All of these things are supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

Here’s the thing about flirting:
Most people don’t even notice when they’re doing it. I’ve had friends point out to me that I’m flirting, and I’m just like, ???????REALLY??. Flirting is done mostly unconsciously. You’ve got a different smile/tone of voice/body language that the boy you’re talking to will pick up on on different levels and respond accordingly. And don’t be heartbroken if you actively try to flirt with a boy and he doesn’t respond. There’s a chance he didn’t pick up on your intentions or, and this sucks to hear but, there’s a good chance he’s not interested.

Here’s the key to romantic entanglements:
You are going to be rejected, and it will hurt.
There are going to be lots of people who will reject you on a variety of levels. Everyone from the boy you smile at in the coffee shop who just pointedly looks away to the first guy you get the guts to approach in a bar to the first serious relationship where the boy drops the rejection bomb and runs. I can’t tell you to not take it personally because it is the epitome of personal. You are going to be rejected for being you, and that sucks. It’s unavoidable and shitty, but keep in mind that you will do the exact same thing. There will be boys who hit on you that you have no interest in, there will be boys in your class that you would rather push in front of a bus than smile at, and one day you will have the unpleasant task of breaking up with someone. SO regardless, please remember: You are desirable. Many people will want to be all over you, physically and mentally. Just because that one boy you thought was the end all be all in your spanish class didn’t want you doesn’t mean that no one will ever want you.

Which leads me to my next big point:

Have Standards and never settle for the first person to ever show interest in you.
You are an A+ 10/10 person and you should never have to settle for the first boy to like you just because you’re afraid that no one else will. You deserve someone who wants you who you also want. It’s a two way street. If he’s a jackass who loves your smile, that’s nice. He’s still a jackass. And you deserve a sweetie pie who loves your smile and doesn’t treat you like shit.

That being said, don’t assume that every guy that’s interested is the one but don’t abstain just because you know they’re not the one. I use abstain very loosely. What I mean is, BOYS ARE FUN, SO USE THEM AND HAVE FUN WITH IT! Out of all the boys I’ve messed around with, let me tell you something, I’ve only had feelings for about 12% of them. I kiss boys I don’t want to date, boys I’m not really interested in, drunk boys I know I’ll never see again because I want to. That is entirely a personal choice. You can kiss any boy you want to or you can kiss boys you’re only really interested in or whatever and whoever makes you comfortable. That is entirely up to you and don’t let anyone tell you different.

Here’s a bit of personal honesty:

Most of the boys I’ve “whatever’d” with, I’ve done so because I wanted the experience. I did it for me. I don’t have a boyfriend, and I didn’t want to wait for one to teach me how to kiss. So I found different boys I was acquainted with and put my face on their faces. I taught myself how to kiss and I did it in a way that I was comfortable with. This might not be the method for you.

Here’s even more embarrassing honesty:

The first boy I brought home was a kid I hadn’t seen in four years since graduation, who I had a crush on in 8th grade, who was still cute and wanted to come home with me. When he took his pants off do you know what I was thinking? I was thinking ‘wow a penis, I guess I should take advantage of this and see how these things work’ not ‘wow this is gonna be magical, I’m gonna come so hard’. I literally brought this kid home because I wanted the experience of having a boy in my bed, and that night happened to have the perfect circumstances to make me comfortable.

Sexual and romantic shenanigans, in my experience, have been very intuitive. I embarrassed the shit out of myself with that boy I brought home, and that’s okay. It was a learning experience. You are gonna make mistakes. You’re gonna use teeth the first time you give a blow job, and you’re gonna fall off the bed when you’re trying to look sexy [true story], and you’re gonna text a boy too much or not enough, and you are gonna make an ass out of yourself and wanna die of embarrassment [multiple true stories]. But you won’t. You’re gonna become a fellatio queen and you’re gonna climb back up on that bed and rock his world, and you’re gonna find a boy who loves you regardless of your texting prowess or lack thereof.

So let me sum this up:

Your lack of experience or knowledge should never hurt you in a relationship. If a boy rejects you because you have the dry humping skills of a blind dolphin [true story] then he’s not the boy for you. If a guy doesn’t want to get involved with you because he “doesn’t do virgins” run away fast because that is what we like to call Grade A Douchebaggery, and he doesn’t deserve someone as fabulous as you. A good guy will either want to learn with you or, if he does happen to have more experience, then he’ll want to help you. Don’t ever let anybody, boy or girl, romantic interest or friend, shame you for lack of anything. You’re not less of a person or less worthy just because you haven’t done something or you’re not comfortable with something.

Ah wait I forgot to address dating

Okay so dating is this complicated thing, and it’s only complicated because everyone has a different idea of what it is. Some boys will ask you on formal dates. Some will actually use the word date. Some boys will go the informal route of studying together, getting fro-yo together, going to a party together. You will usually be able to figure out if it’s romantic or platonic by the time you reach the movie date or as I like to call it the “come over and sit on my couch while we watch a shitty movie and hopefully it’ll be so boring that you’ll wanna make out with me” date. Boys will generally make small moves. Moving closer to you on the couch, grabbing your hand, cuddling. They leave enough time and space for you to reject them, and feel free to if you feel uncomfortable! Never be afraid to just say, no, I’m not interested, or GOODBYE. If they treat you like shit when you’ve done any of the above, kick their scrub ass to the curb. My first date, which I had this year at the age of 21 so please never feel bad about age, was nice enough, but he kept putting pressure on me to make it a long-term relationship, and I didn’t like that. And I wasn’t attracted to him. And when he asked me, immediately after the date it should be noted, how I felt, and I told him I wasn’t interested, he turned into a complete asshole. Which was how I knew that I had made the right decision.

TL;DR

Don’t feel pressured by anybody

Don’t settle for assholes

You are beautiful and fabulous and desirable

Don’t do anything you are not comfortable with

You work on your own schedule; don’t let anyone tell you you’re ready when you’re not

Rejection is a a necessary evil

You are not a car; your value never decreases

Accept that the universe sucks and odds are good that sexy fun time shenanigans are gonna happen when you’re least expecting it [aka when you haven’t shaved your legs or you’re wearing your Costco granny panties or you have a six page paper due at midnight but JFC he’s so good with his hands [true story, happened twice with the same guy actually]]

Boys are just as awkward as you are; don’t let them tell you differently

Speaking of, don’t laugh if they come in their pants or some other penis mishap occurs.

ALWAYS USE PROTECTION

Don’t be afraid to ask him to get tested

listen to your gut; first instincts are good ones

don’t be afraid to try new things

It’s not about working outside of your comfort zone; it’s about broadening your comfort zone

Boys aren’t scary; they are people, and they have feelings and they make mistakes, and they are not better than you just because they can do that thing with their tongue.

ENJOY YOURSELF. YOUR COLLEGE EXPERIENCE, YOUR LIFE, YOUR TOP PRIORITY IS YOU.

And don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice, from me or whoever else.

I hope this helped dear anon, and I wish you plenty of luck as you approach your college years!!

Photo

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 00:55:31 -0500

Photo

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 17:30:22 -0500

The Literary Review, tweeting some of the worst sex...

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 03:38:07 -0500

The Literary Review, tweeting some of the worst sex scenes in literary history under the hashtag #LRBadSex2012.

Photo

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 00:29:12 -0500

"In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that –..."

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 00:20:29 -0500

“In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to justgive him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!”

- Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via hyperbolequeen)

the game of thrones fandom stumbles out of its hibernation cave, hissing as the light hits its...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 22:12:25 -0500

the game of thrones fandom stumbles out of its hibernation cave, hissing as the light hits its skin

lillithwithdiamonds: [x]

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 21:45:16 -0500

lillithwithdiamonds:

[x]

serjaime: “This is the season that Dan and I have been...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 21:44:33 -0500

serjaime:

“This is the season that Dan and I have been anticipating from the very beginning”

bilbutt-baggins: testoster0ne: how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons. like isn’t just...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 20:55:20 -0500

bilbutt-baggins:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

No crying.

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:11:46 -0500

No crying.

Photo

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:10:54 -0500

cybercum: if i could run for as long as my sentences do i’d be in damn good shape

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 15:26:10 -0500

cybercum:

if i could run for as long as my sentences do i’d be in damn good shape

"A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, “Stop trying to make me like you,” and what a..."

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 15:13:58 -0500

“A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, “Stop trying to make me like you,” and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a campaign for popularity, or better yet, a crowded funeral.”

- John Waters (via panoplex)